Dedicated readers of this column no doubt recall the Time Traveler’s pathetic attempt to kill off Bloody Parrot. In our July 28 column entitled “The Team’s Afoot” he claims he was inspired by Arthur Conan Doyle’s chronicles about “The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes.” Doyle had become weary of inventing new stories about the famous sleuth and just killed him off. The Time Traveler claims he did the same thing for the same reason, although I suspect it had more to do with the Traveler’s jealousy over the parrot’s increasing popularity. Unfortunately for Doyle, by the time he decided to rub out Sherlock Holmes the famous detective had become entrenched as a part of British culture. People thought he was a real person. The public was outraged. Doyle’s own mother wouldn’t speak to him and grudgingly Sir Arthur brought Holmes back to life. Now the Traveler has had to face the same dilemma. Despite his faults and foibles people love that bird. The Traveler has become a pirahna around town. He was recently roughed up in the garden supply aisle at True Value Hardware. Fortunately Theresa was able to come to his rescue before he got injured by a patron wielding a 25-pound bag of mulch. Save Mart has taken away his privileges to the men’s room and Nancie’s Cafe is threatening to take his picture down. The Traveler had no choice. Like the Phoenix the Bloody Parrot has risen, although to play it safe I put him on the Amtrak to Reno. I heard he’s doing we’ll despite a rocky start. And apparently he got a job dealing cards on the two dollar table at Luscious Lil’s House of Cards. But he got caught dealing from the bottom of the deck to the advantage of some card shark named Montague Rockingham. The tips Bloody Parrot got in return were substantial. To make matters worse, when the pit boss yanked him off his stool five aces fell out from under his wing. Never one to allow little setbacks to get in the way of honest employment, the Parrot ‘borrowed’ a 1922 Narkinsaw Nooglebug from the National Automobile Museum in Reno and he’s now running an Uber cab service dropping off and picking up Johns... er, gentlemen to the Stallion Ranch just outside of Reno. I didn’t know the Parrot had any interest in livestock but the fresh air and rural setting should do him good.
Hoo boy, the Portuguese Pirate is as dumb as a bag of hair but that’s OK as long as that delinquent bird is out of town. Tracy from Carol’s Market in Newcastle was glad to see him go. Apparently the little creep set up a popup in the parking lot next to the barbecue and started his own church. He snookered Shasta, Jill and Patrick into becoming parishioners with Amanda passing around the collection plate. He even told her she could be the next Amy Semple McPherson.
That crazy Finn will just not give Bloody Parrot a break. But I can understand it. It must be depressing to watch the postal service drop off bags of fan mail for the Parrot while he mostly gets mail from companies offering great savings on pre-paid funeral plans, hearing aides and pills to alleviate gastro-intestinal distress. Well, so much for that. Onto other nuggets of information.
So, Wreaths Across America will be taking place in Auburn for the third year in a row. Paula Celick the Auburn coordinator for the Wreaths Across America event is our guest this Saturday on the Newcastle Television Show (on the radio) at 10 in the morning on AM950 KAHI. For those of you that would like to podcast it for later, it’s available for seven days after that at KAHI.com. Remembrance/Wreath Laying Ceremony will be at New Auburn Cemetery, 1040 Collins Drive in Auburn. It begins at 9 a.m. sharp on Dec. 16. Contact Paula to find out about ordering a wreath for a loved one or for another veteran, at email@example.com or call her at 530-885-1428 for more information.
And on another note, the future home of the new Newcastle Firehouse is progressing nicely. There’s been a few challenges, but Gabe Mendez, Inc. the contractor, Martha McDonnell with Youngdahl the Geo-Tech firm, George Atteberry the civil engineer, Lawrence Bettencourt and myself have pushed through each challenge and have kept the project moving forward. That’s it folks and we’ll see you on the radio. Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in the power of your hand to do so. Proverbs 3:27