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Robin and the Time Traveler

Another View: Take some time to get know the Constitution

By: Robin Enos and John Downs/ Guest Columnists
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   Time Traveler: Looks like I’m on my own this week. The Pirate just called and said he’s busy writing his autobiography. Said he’s locked himself into his barn and won’t be out for a while. I went down to check, peeked through his window and sure enough there he was at his desk with a box of my Ticonderoga No. 2 pencils gnawing on his tongue working away.
   Bloody Parrot was perched on his shoulder wearing a pair of pinze-nez eyeglasses and a green eyeshade, apparently checking his spelling and punctuation. This should go well.
   Speaking entirely for myself, I view autobiographies with deep suspicion. Mankind being who we are(ladies, unbunch yourselves, when I say mankind I mean men and women. Ain’t no one innocent in this world).
   As I was saying, we tend to portray ourselves in the best possible light. So you show me someone writing the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth about themselves and I’ll show you the most boring human being God ever suffered to scuttle the face of the Earth or a damned liar. Either way, not worth reading.
   I know for a fact that if I were to write an honest account of my life, I would be doing eight-to-10 in San Quintin right now. On to another subject.
It has been the hallmark of this column to remind people that Newcastle is the capital of Auburn and we try to inform as to what’s going on in our community and surrounding areas.
    Since there’s not enough to fill a column, we lie about the rest. We have told outrageous lies about our civic leaders and anyone else unlucky enough to get our attention, so far avoiding legal action.
   We rarely inject our personal views and the few times we have has resulted in Nerf rockets being fired at our houses, so we avoid controversy.
   But today I’m going to step outside into the sunshine and dip my toe into the puddle of personal opinion. I’m pretty sure the Pirate would approve.
   For the last few decades, this country has dipped itself deeper and deeper into an acid bath solution I will refer to as contrarian. Whether it’s because of the 24-hour news cycle or we are just a bunch of spoiled children who must have our own way on everything or whatever, we emerge from the bath against something.
   Turn on the news or open a newspaper and all you see is people running around with hand-lettered signs chanting they are against something or other — students against administrations and administrations against cops, women against men, men against themselves, everyone against everything. Good God Gert, give it a rest already!
   I hear again and again, “we must celebrate diversity.” OK, so what? This country has always been diverse. It started out that way. But we have managed to muddle through. Alas, diversity has become adversity and it ain’t working.
   Hey, I have an idea. When was the last time you heard the word unity? Let’s try that one. Maybe we should go back to basics.
   Mike Holmes reminded me of a letter to the Auburn Journal I wrote some years ago. I dug it out and decided it was still relevant. Here it is.
   Mark Twain once said, “The classics are something everyone talks about but no one reads.”
   The same can be said of our Constitution. We are abysmally ignorant about the document that is the bedrock we have built our lives around for over 200 years.
   It is a simple charter with fewer pages than my microwave instruction manual and a hell of a lot easier to understand.
   It was designed to create an engaged central government while at the same time check government’s natural tendency to increase power as all governments have done throughout history.
   Over the last half century or more, our Constitution has been tweaked, twisted, sneered at or totally ignored by the very people elected to uphold it. In smug superior tones they tell us it is obsolete, outdated.
   But it is in fact a liberty document. Since when has liberty become obsolete?
   They pat us on our poor little empty noggins and explain to us that we must have constitutional scholars explain it to us. Horse puckey!
   It was written by farmers, but farmers with a vast knowledge of history and, based on that knowledge, they created one of the greatest documents ever written and some accuracy predicts our own possible future.
   Read the writings of our founders and compare it to the pabulum puked out of Washington every day and draw your own conclusions.
   Some of the boneheads in Washington can barely form a syllable. They get away with this because they know most of us have not read the Constitution since grade school, if then.
   With that knowledge, they have amassed power they were never granted and will continue to a point of tyranny unless America wakes up.
   Take 10 or 15 minutes a day and read a part of our Constitution. Break it down article-by-article, amendment-by-amendment. Our founders sacrificed much to create it and many Americans sacrificed everything to preserve it. We owe them that much at least.
   Don’t have a copy? Stop by Time Traveler Home Consignment in Newcastle, Radio KAHI on Lincoln Way or Century 21 at 226 Washington in Old Town across from the post office, and we’ll get you a free copy.
   If you missed our radio show at  10 a.m. last Saturday on KAHI 950 on your AM dial, that’s because it didn’t air.
   Bloody Parrot got ticked off because we booted him out. So he flew up and did his business on a power box and killed the power all up Lincoln Way.
   Chief Ruffcorn has an APB on him, so it’s good he’s hiding in the Pirate’s barn. Be sure to tune in next Saturday. Our guests will be Cynthia Wood and Trudy Harris from Team Giving.