Friday Sep 08 2017
Peculiar parrot sighting in the deep woodsBy: Robin & The Time Traveler
I don’t think The Time Traveler will be joining us this week; he’s busy having his house smudged. He’s convinced the ghost of Bloody Parrot is out to get him. He has engaged the services of Madam Kali, formally Newcastle’s own palm reader, to run off the bird’s spirit. Recently released from county lockup where she had been serving time for pandering and in need of a job, Madam Kali accepted. Armed with 50 pounds of white sage, she went about the business of smoking out the bird. Thank God, the Newcastle Fire Department put the fire out before it reached his priceless collection of National Enquirers, some of them dating back to the Sonny and Cher breakup.
The Traveler is taking no chances. He has hired our crack legal team Thermadore and Ridgecracker to stand guard at his door to protect him in case the bird’s not dead. Yeah right! That Laurel and Hardy duo couldn’t protect a cactus from a shoplifter. Maybe they are going to sue him to death.
While the Traveler is away, I would like to mention someone who has been ignored in this column and it’s time to set things right.
For those of us who consider sitting through the protocol of an entire city council meeting – akin to picking rat doo-doo out of a pepper bowl – or simply don’t have the time, may I suggest the Meddlers Meeting at 7 a.m. every Tuesday at the Rose Room at city hall. There you can get the Reader’s Digest version of what’s happening in the city and the county.
The ipso facto chair of the Meddlers is Steve Galyardt, of Vitas Insurance. Former president of the Chamber of Commerce, Rotarian, bon vivant, etc. I have tried to get the Traveler to mention Steve in as much as the Traveler attends most meetings. But he refuses, claims the Galyardt is a nice guy and he doesn’t trust nice guys – when they go bad, you never see it coming, and besides he didn’t know what a bon vivant was, thought it was a French pastry. Personally, I have witnessed Steve’s darker side. Especially when Richard fiddles with the thermostat during the Meddlers Meetings. The glares Steve throws at Richard would kill an ordinary man. Apparently, Richard is no ordinary man because he walks away somewhat singed but otherwise undamaged and totally oblivious.
I understand that Steve and a couple of buddies recently went boonie crashing in the high Sierra, where paved roads are scarce and mountain folk abound who, “Don’t take kindly to flatlanders comin’ up and pokin’ they noses into our business.” Steve was riding his Vespa into that wilderness. A Vespa? Really Steve, a Vespa? Those boys are lucky they got out alive.
Interesting note, as they were driving out of Uncle Tom’s Cabin, Steve claims he saw someone or something that looked like Bloody Parrot perched on a tree branch wearing a Groucho disguise playing that tune from “Deliverance” on a banjo. You don’t suppose? … Nah!
On to Newcastle’s News. The Newcastle Community Association held our annual meeting at Gold Hill Gardens. Thank you Mike and Cindy Carson for hosting our annual meeting for the second year in a row.
The main purpose for the meeting was to elect new board members and we would like to welcome Stephanie Walter of Walters Personal Training Studio in Newcastle as our new member at large. Those remaining are Bill Kahrl, president; Jon Dufour, vice president; Jenna McBride, treasurer; and Tina Lauer, secretary. Other members at large are Joni Elder, Amber Eubanks, Noah Mackenroth and the Time Traveler, of course. He doesn’t do anything but they bring him back because he’s fun to watch.
Our speakers for the event were Supervisor Jim Holmes, new Fire Chief Kirk Kushen and Newcastle Elementary Superintendent Denny Rush.
We would like to express our appreciation to Lance and Stephanie Walters for single handedly maintaining Historic Marshal Square and monument and for donating the flag. Also, I understand they are installing solar lights to light up Old Glory.
In other news, we find the Newcastle Fire Protection Board has approved a Geo-Tech firm and a civil engineer to oversee filling the “Hole,” also known as the future home of the new Newcastle Fire House. We are hoping to have bids back and a construction company selected with a start date before the end of September to start the filling process.
“I suppose leadership at one time meant muscles; but today it means getting along with people.” — Mahatma Gandhi