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Adversarial approach doesn't really work

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I am so saddened by how we as a people seem to be so divided from each other and adversarial against “them” these days. For a while, I was angry at the growing focus on partisanship rather genuinely trying to work TOGETHER to solve our national (and local) challenges. But, now I am just saddened because it seems that many have not just lost our humanity (bringing our hearts and minds not just emotions into discussions and decision-making processes, and the golden rule) but our spiritual values as well (compassion for the other, taking personal responsibility for our own actions, faith in a loving God who can guide us when we shut up and listen). From my personal experience and from my Quaker upbringing, I find that quiet give and take with the focus on the active listening, NOT the quick response with anger and no respect, does bring true success and win-win solutions. This quieter, respectful approach can seem to be a slower process to resolution, but it is worth the time because all parties feel heard and are empowered in the end. For myself, all I need sometimes is just to feel heard, meaning honored and respected as a person with my own opinions and beliefs. Then, I can more easily really hear the other person’s concerns. We don’t have to agree on everything, but we do need to listen to each other. This isn’t new stuff. These concepts are the core of all the world’s great religions. And, to focus on one, I wonder, as the bumper sticker says: “What would Jesus do?” LindaLou Haines, Colfax