Goose abuse is driving beautiful ‘neighbors’ away

-A +A
I am a Canadian goose from Canada. I am writing you for help. My family had a near death experience at Princeton Club. We have been vacationing for a month at the cattle watering hole near the mailbox row of Princeton Club. On a recent Thursday morning a pond neighbor began screaming as he ran out of his doorway, Get out of here, you #@&% ducks! Another pond neighbor followed and chased us around the park throwing rocks at us. Dumb ducks! Dumb ducks! At first the flock thought it was Captain Ahab on the death hunt for Moby Dick. Why? Because we are Canadian? The pond sign did read, No dogs! Since we are not dogs, and since in 10 years we have not seen more than one person in this park in any month, we just thought it would be OK. You didn't have to stone our family! We just wanted to be neighbors, too. Our Geese Council has concluded this fracas was all the work of the devious Auburn Dog Park dogs. Since dogs were locked out of the Princeton Club pond, they plotted to turn the neighbors against us. We geese plead guilty to trampling down 10 blades of park grass, which has destroyed the perfect pond view. We geese were wrong to first cite the unfair treatment of waterfoul and violations of the freedom of domain of migratory birds. We deeply regret the angst we have caused the club pond people. Please don't kill us. Please! We believed we were part of the view. Goose For Equality With Dogs Ted Pietrzak