Our country, heartbroken about recent mass shootings, has tapped (Vice President Joe) Biden for the job of finding a solution.
Mentally challenged people with assault weapons, pockets filled with extra magazines, and more recently the California shooting with just a shotgun, but dozens of extra shells in his pockets.
The VP, realizing that the last assault weapons ban did nothing to reduce these horrible incidents, and is a political loser, has instead decided to ban pockets.
Think about it, no pockets, no place to hide high-capacity magazines. No pockets, no extra shotgun shells.
The committee on pocket elimination will be led by Al Franken in consultation with Ralph Lauren.
All the usual pocket items from now on will be attached via carabiners to a gold or silver chain worn around the waist or neck. A California company has been offered a $100 million grant to develop environmentally friendly carabiners and matching chain belts. Innovation … keeping the U.S. ahead of the rest.
Jim Donahue, Lincoln