A while back I received an email from a young girl who asked me how I dealt with my disability (Arthrogryposis). I shared this little memory with her in the hopes that she too, would find the strength to look past those stares, comments and moments of outright discrimination to know that who you are has nothing to do with other people's opinion of you.

The Gift That Keeps on Giving

It took me many years and a lot of hard work to realize I was not alone. Since I was born in the 50's life tended to be isolating. Being mainstreamed with only one other "handicapped" kid in my school made me a stand out kinda gal, and not because my schoolmates envied my shoes!

I will share with you what is now termed an "Aha Moment" in my life. It paved the way for a "Take Life By The Horns" attitude which is still with me today.

When I was 5 yrs old we lived in military housing in Germany. At this time I had a 3" difference in leg lengths, wore the old metal braces on both legs and my feet were severely clubbed. To add to the mix both of my hands were clubbed as well. I had only a slight, nearly unmeasurable grip in just one hand.

I refer to these times as my, "Iron Maiden Days." Mom would let me play in the front yard, while she did her magic on her sewing machine. She loved making me beautiful dresses, always with one eye on me through the big picture window in the front room.

On this particular sunny day, I had been playing with the neighborhood kids, when one obnoxious boy who ranked a few years older (and taller) than me referred to me in a term I had never heard, nor knew, the meaning of. However, I did know right off the bat, that his tone and body language which accompanied the word were usually not used with terms of endearment!

In my determined way, I ran in the house, well... waddled in, and with a loud voice and a very stern look on my angelic face asked my mom, "Mommy, am I a cripple?"

“NO” she answered.

Her one word answer was straightforward and matter of fact.

It was all I needed to hear to send me back outside, with confidence and tenacity, as if I knew I was being watched over by General Patton and his entire Army! I turned on my heels, limped back outside as though I was a soldier heading for the front line of battle. As I approached my accuser, I looked him straight in the eyes. In tandem as I raised my right arm to his body (to make certain he completely understood me) I proceeded to knock him over while uttering these words with an attitude of sheer determination and confidence, "I AM NOT A CRIPPLE!!!!"

One word, one moment in time....

Neither of us really knew at that moment Mom had given me the greatest gift that day.... one that I would re-open every day, for the rest of my life.

Focusing on the good "Aha" moments of my life is something which has taken practice and determination, but by doing so, I have made my Arthrogryposis an asset, one that has enriched my life far more profoundly than I could have ever imagined in my wildest dreams."

Copyright © Kathleen Grover 2006