Robin and the Time Traveler

Anonymous characters

A. Nonomous: Goodness and light is under assault in our fair city. For a number of years now a mysterious coterie of young ladies — well they used to be young — have ...

Fears, scares and terrors at the local coffee shop

Time Traveler: I fear for the future safety of Auburn’s streets. Last week as I was approaching Depoe Bay Coffee Roasters for our morning meeting of the Babblers and the Au ...

Better at lying than reporting

Time Traveler: Three or four years ago we started this column with the idea of recording who’s who and what’s what in Newcastle but it didn’t take long for the P ...

Nuthin', zero, zilch, zip, nada, scratch

Time Traveler: Tomorrow morning I have to turn in this column and here it is 7:40 p.m. and I got nuthin’ zero, zilch, zip, nada, scratch. I have made the usual preparati ...

Another View: An appalling association

Portuguese Pirate: Well it didn’t take long for Bloody Parrot’s cousin Nigel to find a starting point for his climb to the top of Auburn’s who’s who. Nigel ...

Another View: A fondness for feathers

Time Traveler: For the last several weeks Auburnites have been approaching me inquiring whether this column would continue in light of the rebirth of the Auburn Journal retu ...

Holiday nights and knights

Time Traveler: The Portuguese Pirate & Bloody Parrot are at it again! The Pirate and that noisome moth-eaten excuse for a parrot will do anything to get me bumped off th ...

Rocky travels

Portuguese Pirate: Dedicated readers of this column no doubt recall the Time Traveler’s pathetic attempt to kill off Bloody Parrot. In our July 28 column entitled &ldq ...

Flying fists and ruffians

Portuguese Pirate: The Time Traveler is forever whining about Newcastle being such a boring little burg that it makes writing a column for and about the place very difficult ...

The art of the scam

Time Traveler: Since the mysterious disappearance of Bloody Parrot the Portuguese Pirate, having no real friends has started hanging out with our former attorneys Norris P. ...

Peculiar parrot sighting in the deep woods

Portuguese Pirate: I don’t think The Time Traveler will be joining us this week; he’s busy having his house smudged. He’s convinced the ghost of Bloody Par ...

Another View: The Haunting

Time Traveler: Last Tuesday at midnight dreary While I pondered weak and weary Seeking something to peruse By God I said I’ll watch Fox news. While I w ...

Another View: Getting directions to Newcastle ...

Portuguese Pirate: Well, that dumb Finn has done it this time. Just because the Traveler is tired of writing about The Bloody Parrot he murders him with a swipe of his magic ...

Another View: Meddler spinoffs and a hail to the chiefs

Portuguese Pirate I’m baaak! Much to the annoyance of the Time Traveler who has to resume his role as second banana on our weekly Newcastle Television Show airing at 1 ...

Another View: Take some time to get know the Constitution

   Time Traveler: Looks like I’m on my own this week. The Pirate just called and said he’s busy writing his autobiography. Said he’s locked himself into ...